Shadows of Myself
Untitled
Float like dancing angels
Through the night
A cold breeze fly’s through your body
And you know that everything is right
Untitled
Iron armies with soft bellies
No brains, so no fears
One solider will pick a fight
Twenty will be on the battlefield
Untitled
Rain drops from open wings
Clouds cover the shining sun
Puddles gather on the road of life
Small streams flow between
The water fly’s freely
Pure, clean, clear
It has no worries
It’s so beautiful, it’s so free.
Stuck on Zero
Locked in a box
A shy fragile boy
Before it was only scratched on the surface
Now the wound is bleeding
The bloody taste is sticking to the roof of my mouth
It’s not only sore but sticky
A pain unlike any other
A walking corpse
Everything you've ever wanted to have but you can’t bare it
The pain I cause myself
Tare myself open every night
Still no answers
A broken link
The nails that I drive into myself
Are starting to rust
Staple my eyelids shut so I can’t shut myself out
When in find nothing
I see nothing
The mirror shatters
And half of me wishes I could take back what I've done
The blisters that have grown in my mind
Are beginning to feel comfortable
I grow around myself
And I'm too twisted in my own mind that I can’t see straight
My life becomes a blur
Only I'm the one who's making it happen
I've stabbed my fingers through my eyes
I'm the one shutting down
I'm the one who's switching off
It’s me
And the fact that I can’t blame anyone else kills me
It only takes one bullet to kill yourself...
.... And I'm stuck on zero
Blue Thorn
A blue thorn
A cold white face
Smothered in darkness
Silhouetted against a broken heart
A tear for the night
A toast to the sky
Across a moonlight sprinkled lake
A forest made of stone
A howl shudders the roots of all
Scattering ravens awake the dawn
And a fire ignites the sun
The day is alive, yet so dead
And we will never find the reason why?
My Own Coffin
I wake up inside my own coffin
Only I'm not dead
The coffin is my head
I've locked myself in and sent myself straight to hell
I can’t break out no matter how hard I try
I scream but I'm only wasting air
I cant save myself because I’m too scared
Fear is the nails in my coffin
And I'm the hammer
Untitled
Safe soft arms
Like pillows made of clouds
A warm soft feeling inside
And a knowledge that things are ok
Like fairy dust was sprinkled over you life
A warm smile
Echoed in loving eyes
The Big City
Endless roads of grey pavement
Black, white, yellow faces
War raging in the eyes of all
Hatred in the air
Sirens in my ears
A million dead faces
Memories of Poison
My words like icicles down the back of my throat
Slicing through my soul like razors
Blood flows like rivers with a current of sadness and depression
The waters have passed under the bridge now
I no longer see red when I open my eyelids
Strength in Weakness
Tears flow like oceans
So fragile, so beautiful
Like a lone flower
Falling against the wind
Playing shadow-games
With my head
I can’t stand tall
Unless I see you fall
I hate the way that I am
Because it’s me
I find it hard to believe
That someday I'll be ok
I'm so happy where I am now
I don’t ever want to leave
It’s warm here
Unlike the cold harshness of the outside world
(With love comes madness)
Addicted to Her
Surrounded by a force
A clear powder
One sniff and your hooked
Addicted to what you love most
A day goes by without a hit
And your heart slows and speeds
I need my warm place
Arms like forests
Take me away from this place
Into your love
A safe place
So gently
Sweet kisses
Warm eyes
And a head-rush
I'm falling into her
And I don’t want to pull myself out
I want to stay here forever
As I look at myself, I can’t help but fall apart
And only because she’s not here with me.
Untitled
These bonds will never break
This love will never die
Our hearts will never stop
This love could never die
Night
The soft florescent glow
Echo’s in the soothing river
The sweet air fly's freely through my body
I feel pure
The low hissing of insects
Soothing the silence of the night
And I wait...
There’s insects crawling in my stomach
Laying eggs that are making me sick
I can’t kill them because I put them there
They'll be there until they are confronted
And the seconds count down.....
And I wait for the screams.....
And I wait for the silence.....
Words From the Barrel of A Gun
Soldiers at war
Kids
No guns, just voices
A voice more powerful than a gun
Each word a bullet
Each one hurts more than any gun could
Few shields could block them
A song
Louder than any gunshot
Piercing the ear like a hot poker
Infecting the mind like a fatal disease
The casualties
The weak minded
A playground
Such a war zone
Smiles don't last long
When a bullet pierces your heart
A bullet made of letters
A sentence of hatred
A sentence of hurt
Words are your machine guns
Arm yourself well
Knowledge will always win wars
(What calibre is your mouth?)
DEAD
Slashes of pain tare at my skin.
Blood pours from my helpless shape.
Pain no longer exists.........
.... It is beyond
I am alone,
I am afraid,
I am numb,
I AM DEAD!
Dyeing In Darkness
Trapped inside,
No air to breathe,
No room to stride,
No time to heed.
Never get up again,
Never lift a pen,
Never feel or touch,
Or see as much.
Am I going forward?...,
Or is it back?
Trapped inside now,
Of air, there’s a lack.
Memories are vague,
Silence a plague,
Lonely in my own presence,
Loosing all touch.
Fading and Fading,
Can't see the light of day,
Everything is darker now,
Can't seem to find a way out.
The Great War of Man
This war is for me
Soldiers positioned at hells gates
Wanting to walk by but realising the dangers
Lies can spread like cancer
And can kill with great pain
Backup will be ready
But no army do I hold
Guns and grenades can detonate
But no tanks can protect me
Foot soldiers will be positioned
At each side
Waiting for first gunshot
War is waiting in the banks
Face the fire
Flack jackets won’t work
Wounds can heal but leave scars
Dreaming won’t get rid of the truth
The Orchard of Friendship
There’s something missing
A broken link
I keep thinking its me
But no, it’s not
It’s him, he's the problem
What’s wrong?
Did I do something?
I can’t remember
I don’t think so
Is it because of his grandfather?
No. It was before that
He's been dead now for a while
He just sits there
Dead, emotionless
This isn’t the friend I once knew
He was different
He was caring
He was weird, interesting
I preferred him
He was fun
He was unpredictable
Now he is quite
He is boring
He's dead
I don’t think we can be friends anymore
I still see the roots of our relationship
But the branches are broken and the leaves withered
New seeds need to be sown
This orchard in old and withered
But still holds a mighty strength
New day. New seeds
The seeds of violence
The seed of violence,
As sown by the father,
Actions into his mind,
Which were further nurtured,
By a life of hate
Brought up around violence,
Learned to evolve with a fist for hate,
Taught to raise his fists,
To plan out his faith
Sickness in Secrecy
The putrid smell of sickness
Corridors and corridors of rooms
Clean yet so filthy
Death is in the air
Pain, suffering, hurt
White coats, white sheets
Clean yet so filthy
Disease, so white and pure
Death, so clean and soft
Flowers, bottles and pill
Line the bedside
As a reminder of what’s happening
Sleeping in death
Alone as I sleep,
Silenced in my mind,
Searching and searching
No love can I find.
White with numb,
I face the shadows,
Cold with the image,
The thought of my foes.
Paralysed from the brain down,
Sometimes wishing I had drowned,
Can't bear to face another day,
I need out, give me a way?
Symphony of pain,
Ringing in my ears,
Louder and louder,
The taste of my tears.
Trains With Faces
Trains and trains of people
Going places
Meeting people
Coming home
It isn’t really the journey
Just the faces you meet along the way.
Ocean Of Love
I sink into an ocean of warm delight
Candles line the seashore
Music sooths my tired ears
Tired from the continuous chirping oh the little sparrows
And the agonizing screams of the beasts
My mind wonders...
Eyes closed.....
But I see clearer then ever...
The precious rose that wraps its stem around my naked heart
Blossoms in wonderful colours that brighten my journey
A warm love echoes....
.... Reflected in shining eyes
Untitled
Where is this feeling coming from?
Has something happened that I missed?
I seem ok but when I think about it
I notice something is missing
Turn out the lights....
Shut the door....
They to remember....
Is it an illness?
Why do I feel this way?
I know something is missing
But what is it?
Maybe I’m just overanalyzing myself?
A great white light....
Thin curtains...
A great silence...
I still can’t remember
My body is a blank
Pull back the trigger....
Fire myself into her...
To find the answer....
Untitled
Could I be dead?
Or is it just me?
Inside my head?
Do I even care?
Do I know now?
Or will I be?
Will I go on?
And will I see?
Untitled
If I take back what I've said
I'd be eating my words as they burn my lips
I have to carry on
Like a dog on a lead with stabilizers
No more antibiotics
No more "I"
Carpe Diem
Grab life by the horns
And ride through the night
Each day is a gift
Take it with appreciation
And make full use of it
Embrace.
Chance.
Live.
Untitled
I wear walls
You can’t get me
I shield my heart
Only the true are let in
Walking Dead
Every day
I walk like a wounded animal
These things that surround me have no value to me
They don’t mean anything to me anymore
Only when I'm with her does the world make sense
When I’m with her everything is right
I understand things and see them so clearly
I walk dazed for years
5 years
Untitled
the world goes away
Everything around you means nothing
Words pass through you
Crawl like an injured insect
Nothing matters
Your heart tares
A longing for her
Seconds seem like days
Minutes like weeks
And days like years
My world falls down
Diseased
Stay away
I'm sick inside
I'm unworthy
Useless, that’s me
Spit in my face why don’t you?
Don’t worry
It doesn’t sting much
My defences are down
Like a little boy
Lying wide eyed staring into nothing
I don’t feel too good
Never will
Never mind
Cold Black Stare
Eyeliner
A cold black stare
Into nothing
Or maybe something
What has she seen?
A reflection probably
Break the glass eye
Read my pages
Between the lines
The ink is smudged
Only the holes can shine
Bruises
You wear what you say
I hide my real scars
The ones of my own making
Ashamed, more like scared
Of what?
Myself
Doll-face
Plastic face with a smile of gold
A mirror shatters
Clean, clear and beautiful
A broken doll
Cheep materials
The toy no one wants
Its features are faded
It doesn’t do much
Just sits and does nothing
Can’t save the day
Isn’t a fairytale prince
Its arms are broken
Its face distorted
Deformed and diseased
Why would anyone want it?
The Demon on My Back
The demon inside me never died
It stuck its nails deep into my back
And held on with the grip of a thousand men
No force could break it
A deep incision
I’ve been stapled to myself
I try to break free but
I only tighten its grip
My fear....
.... Will I ever break free?
Untitled
She's got steels tears
And they burn my shoulder
Her eyes are frozen
And her wounds are older
Eyes
a billion mirror-eyes
Staring at no-one but you
Turn the lens
It still stares straight at you
You’re being watched by no one
Untitled
The dancing tiger
Hisses at the sound of its self-pity
The flower is withered
The bullet, fired
All hell is broken
Only the dead can survive
Untitled
I read old words
The pictures they paint
The lies they portray
Was their ever anything?
Could you ever be free?
Nothing
Mind numbing TV fuzz
Lack of feeling goodness
Not black
But Grey
A thin line
A heavy sound
Flashes of bright light
Blind
But seeing everything as it really is
...Nothing
The Staked
It stakes me
Trouble
Wearing black
To hide itself
I never see it coming
But I always see it leave
Untitled
Blind comments
Open insults to hide their fears
Can’t they be real?
Eyes that pierce my side
Grow up
You need a brain
And more so a heart
Untitled
A silent crash
The car steers to the left
The mirror is the first to go
The scraping kills me
The leaking of petrol
The sent is in the air
And fire is hunting
Untitled
We are all dead creatures
Some find life inside
Others wither and die in their own sadness
Dead Roses
A rose sings in its silent garden
It sings not for others but for itself
And all around dead roses find life
And bloom in colours of white and red
They leave behind their tears
And sing for their new life
They’re new light
Untitled
Crowded teeth
Pulling out
Will only leave me
With nothing
The Ship of Suffering
The colour of the ship
As it sails through oblivion
Changes furiously in the midnight sun
Its sails tattered and its deck awash with water
The passengers can do nothing but wait
Patience, hope
The rain still pours
The wind still blows
No matter how many prayers
It doesn’t matter
No one can stop the storm
The waves get higher
Crash, crash
The ship is alone on the horizon
There’s no answer, try again
All we can do is hope
(And fear will always creep up behind you)
Untitled
A tear sprinkled torture
That opens your eyes
And rids you of your demons
In the shadow of your lies
Untitled
I felt the blood flow from her fingers
Cold and sore
Her head was tinted
A bullet wound
Turn out the lights
The sun burns her skin
Her nails bite her back
Scratch the womb
Tare open the wound
A broken face
The mirror shatters
Flicker
Gone
The Taste of Defeat
I drink my own blood
Its taste
A bitter-sweet shock
Slide into myself
The walls are too high to climb
If only I had a ladder
I though I had
But the further I climbed
The lower I got
Escaping Myself
Create an escape
Only to find you
Locked yourself inside
The sound echoes
Louder, louder
I won’t go away
Untitled
A silver princess
With moonlit eyes
A crippled angel
In her sky’s
Soft skin surrender
Mascara burn
Will you remember?
Will I ever learn?
Untitled
Golden shadows
Reflections in the whites of her eyes
Warm colours surrounded by a cold wind
Fallen soldiers
Wither in the winter sky
Untitled
I'm tasting my own blade again
The blood that runs through my fingers is my own
I've always brought it upon myself
The razor shatters
Mirror cracks
What can I do?
I'm just a child
Always will be
Secret scars
Wish you could understand
The conscious of the unconscious
You never could
It’s not your fault
The tears sting my eyes
And they'll never go away
I wish they'd go away
I wish they'd go away
The Road to Nowhere
The quite night is devoured by the flickering stars
That line the roadside and guide us to our destination
The hissing of the beasts as they rage on is
Silenced by the sharp wind that cuts through their bellies
The city never sleeps
Its rests
But always keeps a constant hum
We stop to rest upon the ocean
The beasts have halted
The wind pierces my side
The stars are getting fewer
Our journey is coming to an end
Dead In My Head
Still fish eyes
Motionless
Cold lips
His heart beats
But he no longer moves
Or feels
Burn the stitches
Go further just to feel
Numb
Wish I felt the way I did
Bring back the fore
Bring back the fears
Bring back the tears
Erase Me (Hide in the shadows)
Weak with hunger
I stumble upon a sea of concrete
I stop to rest
The water is cold
The salt stings my cuts
Peer into the great depths
Maybe I'll find something
Probably not
I can’t give up
That’s not like me
Well I haven’t really been myself lately
Burn my digits
Shave my body
Take everything away from me
Burn everything I’ve ever touched
Erasure
Hide in the shadows
Hide in the shadows
Heel / Heal
Tare my shield to shreds
They can’t stop me
But you
Ohh yes, you
You can break me in a second
You know me too well
You know my weaknesses
How could I ever escape you?
I could die in my head here
And you wouldn’t even notice
Crippled
I’m feeling dizzy
I haven’t eat or slept in days
My boots weigh me down
I loose my will to smile
Everything becomes a metaphor
Everything dies
Untitled
Devour the skin
The night is young
And filled with chance
Birth of the Day
Silver Lining
A golden shine
Curtains flow in the wind
The breeze is warm and welcome
The day has just been born
A Relationship Ending
Crumbled pages
Another goodbye
Fade to black
He can’t
The fire still burns
What will come of them?
What will come of my dear friends?
Theatre of Tears
Plastic teardrops
It’s all a big show
The audience are on their toes
Waiting, waiting
What will she do next?
The lower can’t get much higher
Smash the light bulbs
A fist-full of blood
Stains that won’t wash
It still flows
It won’t stop
Make it stop
Make it stop
I fall on Deaf Ears
I become a shadow
Hover in the darkness
Seldom see the light
I apologize for not understanding
Awkward
Shatter of glass
Still silence
Voices that speak foreign languages
The day has not yet begun
Can’t you hear me screaming?
I wish you could hear me
The Paint Always Bleeds
I tare the canvas
He paint runs down slowly
Painfully
The light changes
A missing moment
The noise won’t stop
The silence is piercing
Slit your throat
Slide the razor
The light reflects
An edge of something
Maybe depression
Maybe nothing
Questions, thoughts, ideas
Mind racing
Burnt pictures
Memories of what could have been
Never mind. It’ll be ok.
Over-analyzing, I always am
Relax
Breathe 2, 3, 4
Search For A Cure
Sick, cold
Darkness
Pull the feathers from the sky
Falling, falling
Won’t you catch me?
I’d never expect that of you
My stomach starts to eat itself
My mind looses its grip
Patience
Relax
Deep breath’s
Nothing helps
I wish I wasn’t here
It’s not a safe ground for me
I stumble
Tired limbs
Maybe I'll sit here for awhile
And find some air
Blood begins to clot
Air is becoming scarce
Drift
Shut my eyes
Hide behind my eyelids
Find a warm place
Screaming, screaming
It echoes....
Screaming, screaming
I wish I could die
The Sky’s of our ancestors are dark
Set free your children upon the night
For they can shine in the sky
If you teach them love
Changes
Gone are the crazy days
The late nights wondering the streets
The dew-drenched mornings exploring the woods
Companions have come and gone
Everything is changing
Noting stays the same
Wondering eyes
Cold hands
Strange words
A face that tells of bad memories
An awkward silence
The air seems tight
The trail of bad events
Maybe it will take flight
Remember when....
Nah I’d rather forget
Wish I could
But you won’t let me breath
Dance in the sky, my child
The still forest captures your soul
A moon steals your sun for awhile
Don’t worry, take the road to the river
And bathe in its moonlit current
The sun will rise and break the night
Like a great beast that hunts in the wilderness
Follow the rays
Follow the current
Follow your heart
Untitled
Death falls like blood-soaked raindrops
In the November sky
Angels line the moon at night
And watch for fallen stars
Untitled
I burn ink on paper
So that someday
Someone will read my scribbles
I can always hope....
Untitled
Paper air
Choke
Still silent stance
Eyes are everywhere
The mirror sees all
Interruption’s
Bad psychology
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